The guy with the broken antenna.

So the other day, I hurried from my daily commute to my living room in a bid to make it for my favorite show on tv. I got there I the nick of time, turned on my TV set only to get a bad signal. I use freeview, not one of those fancy premium pay monthly cable tv packages. I ve always expressed resistance against paying for a service I'm never at home long enough to enjoy.

So, I kept twisting and fidgeting with my antenna for what seemed like forever and a day, adopting some ridiculous yoga-like poses in the process. I did get some picture. Fuzzy , distorted picture... I also did get some sound. Fuzzy, distorted sound. Once, I got a clear picture with no sound. Another time, I got a clear sound and a black screen. With the signals all jammed up, I resorted to having an early night.

 My life is pretty much the same. My social and emotional life, that is. Throughout my life, I ve always wondered how and why people are able to bond and ' gel' with each other and I'm unable to build that rapport with them irrespective of how much I want to or how hard I try.

 About 2 years ago, I understood why I found human interactions so taxing and my whole life made sense: my antenna is broken. No, not the dodgy one sitting on top of my tv. Everybody is equipped with an inbuilt antenna necessary for social interactions. They enable the understanding and regulation of one's  emotions and the decoding of non-verbal and subtle signals from others. These include body language, social and cultural nuances and other subliminal and discreet modes of communication.

All I hear is what I'm being told. In words. I can't read most facial expressions and make sense of them. It is often said that communication is 60% body language, 30% tone of voice and only 10%  actual verbal content. If this is true, which I'm tempted not to believe but I am resigned to do so as it provides the most  logical explanation to my social setbacks, that would mean that I have been and I'm still oblivious to  90% of messages I'm sent. Like my tv antenna, ( let's call him Joe, OK?) I can't always pick up all the signals in order to get a clear picture . That's why I' ve chosen to name this blog, The Guy With the Broken Antenna.
My name is Billy and I ve got a form of autism called Aspergers Syndrome. Through this blog, I will be giving an insight into my unique view of the world. You must have heard that every autistic person is different. Hence, I can not speak for everybody. But I will draw on my knowledge to give a light-hearted but in-depth exposé on life as an adult on the spectrum and life as a child on the spectrum.

By the title of the blog, I am by no means implying that I or anyone with autism should be construed as physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically broken. My tv isn't broken. It is a high end plasma screen high definition tv. It was designed perfectly like all tvs of the same brand. Not broken.But the antenna is.
I'm not broken. I'm a nice guy, a  hardworking employee, loving husband, fun to be with father, friendly and funny. Not broken. But my antenna is...

Watch this space!